ELVES IN THE BARNYARD

By

BRADLEY W. SIMPSON

     Elves enjoy getting together and having fun.  The problem with elves is, their idea of fun is playing pranks, doing tricks, and causing mischief.

     There once lived a farmer and his wife.  They worked all day on the farm, and with no one else to help them, their chores seemed endless.  At the end of the day, they were always very tired.  When the last chore was done, they would put away their tools, lock the barnyard door behind them, and go straight to bed.

     One starry night, when the moon was high and dew glistened in the meadows, three elf faces peeped in through a crack in the barn door.  They took one look at the large stacks of hay, the farm tools, and the slumbering animals and decided it would be the PERFECT place for their pranks.  In an instant, the three elves hopped in through the barn door, crept into the rafters, and made their new home.

     Now there are many things on a farm that a mischievous elf can make go wrong.  They can steal eggs and spook the animals for a start.  If they are feeling VERY festive, then they can make EVERYTHING go wrong.

     Early the next morning, the farmer rounded up the cow to do the milking.  He had nearly filled the bucket, when one of the elves sneaked up behind the cow and stuck her in the backside with a needle.  The poor old cow bellowed loudly and kicked the bucket of milk over with her hind legs, and took off running through the pasture and didn’t stop until she had trampled through the vegetable patch.  The farmer, who had gotten thoroughly soaked by the milk, watched in confusion.  He, of course, had not seen the elf, who was by now hiding in the hayloft, rolling with laughter over his funny prank.

     Next, the farmer’s wife went into the hen house to collect eggs.  She had carefully placed them all in a wicker basket, but when she lifted the basket, someone had cut a large hole in the bottom.  Out dropped every egg and they all broke on the ground.

     “Well, I never,” thought the farmer’s wife, and a second elf giggled with delight from his hiding place in the rafters.

     The rest of the day continued much the same way for the farmer and his wife; the elves sawed the farmer’s rake in half, they spooked the pigs, and poked holes in the water trough to drain it dry.  “What on earth is HAPPENING around here?”  the farmer’s wife asked bewildered.

     “I believe we have elf visitors,” answered the farmer, for he had heard all about the trouble elves can cause.

     “Well, get rid of them, fast, before they can do anymore harm,” said the wife.

     “But I can’t,” the farmer said.  And he really couldn’t.  For elves are much too clever and quick to be caught.  “We will just have to put up with them.”

     But the next morning, when the farmer found that all his chickens had been plucked completely bald, he agreed that something had to be done.  He tried to think of a plan, but it is almost impossible to catch elves when they are so tiny and quick, like little mice.  “Like little mice, indeed,” thought the farmer as an idea formed in his mind.  He decided to play a trick of his own on the pesky elves.

     That night, when all was quiet, he crept up to a hole in the barn door and listened in carefully.  It was just as he had suspected.  He could hear the giggling and chuckling of the three little elves inside the hayloft.  What fun they had had that day.  He heard them discussing the pranks they would play in the morning.

     It was time to act.  The farmer eased the creaky barn door open a tiny bit and shoved his fat, black tomcat inside.  At once, the cat sniffed the air and pounced toward the hayloft thinking he would make a snack out of the elves. 

     “A monster! A monster!”  one elf cried when he saw the THING coming at them.  They quickly scattered into the rafters. 

     “It’s a demon!”  the second elf cried.  “Look at those terrible eyes!”

     “What about those horrible CLAWS!”  shouted the third elf.  “Run for your lives!”

     The frightened elves quickly flew through the hole in the barn door.  In a twinkling, they were gone.

     Things returned to normal around the farm after that night, and the farmer and his wife were able to do their chores in peace.  And you can bet the mischievous elves never went back to the farmhouse again.  They wanted nothing to do with the mysterious monster that lived in the barn.